Damn it.

Just once I'd like to be uninspired by something you do.
Just once I'd like to want to lack the drive that you seem to have towards something.
Albeit unattainable, I'd like to live a different life.
Is it unachievable, though? I need to spend on experience, and realize that the material possessions I've come to love so much only exist for a short while. I can't keep coming to conclusions that I think are ultimate without trying something completely different.
I don't care what I think resonates, because I know there is more that booms. There is more that will ruin me than I currently subject myself to. I want to be ruined in a completely different way than I've considered possible before. Now that I've got no class that comes in ones twos threes.

You fucking confront it finally, after years of doing exactly what you want, you do some things you never thought you would. and it supports you. It moves you, and it takes you flawlessly to that volta. It takes you, not matter how the time. It takes you because you forced yourself. I've been living far too naturally, when naturally is to do things on a whim, not to let them come to you. whims should be uncomfortable.

I love you, man, and I've always respected what you do. For some reason, that even means your insecurities, that even means your lack of self-confidence. That even means my lack of self-confidence. That even means my stubbornness. That even means me trying to fit in. That even means you trying to fit in. That even means that both our paths cross inevitably because of how diametrically opposed we once were.

I knew this would come. I've been processing my battle. I've been existentially avoiding that which I know must happen.

to MG.