The Nothing That Kills:

I called and called and called.
I was so happy to hear something other than a record.

It turned into something unexpected. Welcomed, understandable, obviously neglected.


(not mine)
Maybe I fell too fast
Maybe I pushed you away


(mine)
There's no hour I would not wake up at.
There's no amount I would not pay.
There's no ticket too expensive
No phone call too late
There's no alarm I would not set
No gas tank too empty.
No night too late.

You might be able to guess where I'm going with this.

Remember that I was not even an adult yet. Remember that I knew nothing. Remember that now I think I've learned. Remember, please remember, that it's the nothing that kills.

Intensity is something that can mean different things. It means everything right now.
When I watch myself play drums inside my head. It's to that song, and it's me drumming with intensity. I'm almost crying because I'm all of sad, all of joyful, and all of angry. For all different reasons.

(The pictures are unrelated)

How can I make this entry be about something other than the coming year, decade, lifetime?
There's no way. I'm always talking about the future.

I was watching a video of Anis Mojgani do a piece called "Here am I." I can't help but repeat the last three, powerful phrases in my mind. His voice shakes and stands up, his body moves and places itself with every emphasis.

Already am, Always was, And I still have time to be.

welcome.
welcome. welcome.